I have good news! Emotional intelligence (EI) can be learned and developed. According to Daniel Goleman, author of the landmark book, Emotional Intelligence, “emotions streamline our decisions at the outset by eliminating some options and highlighting others. When it comes to shaping our most important decisions and actions, the emotional brain is as involved in reasoning as is the thinking brain.”
Four Quadrants of Emotional Intelligence
Developing your EI is not the same thing as psychotherapy. The focus of EI is on powerful and practical skills that anyone can use to improve their personal or professional lives. EI affects how we manage our personal behavior, interact with others, and make choices that achieve positive results.
The four core skills of EI help us learn how to effectively manage our personal and social relationships. Those skills are:
- Self-Awareness: What am I feeling? How did these feelings arise? What information do they carry?
- Social Awareness: What are they feeling? How did those arise?
- Self-Management: How do I want to feel? What do I need to do in order to feel that way?
- Relationship Management: How do you want them to feel? What do you need to do in order for them to feel that way?
Strategies for Developing Emotional Intelligence
In addition to working on the four quadrants, there are several strategies that can be employed to developing our EI. Here are a few to start with:
- Observe how you react to people. How do you think about and react to others. Be more open and accepting to new ideas, perspectives, needs, etc.
- Do a self-evaluation. This is the time to be gentle with yourself. There is no right or wrong answer. Look at your strengths and your weaknesses? Are you willing to work on both of these to become a better person?
- How do you react to stress? Do you sweat the small stuff? Do you often blame others? Are you able to keep your emotions in check?
Emotional intelligence is not learned overnight. It takes time, practice and patience. I would love to be your partner, guiding you through this journey. Contact me with any questions or to get started!